Quotable quotes – Why drink beer? – Buffalo theory

Sometimes  when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel  shame.   Then  I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and  all of their hopes and dreams… If  I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams  would be shattered. Then I say to  myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the  morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day."

~Frank Sinatra

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~  Henny Youngman

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence??..I think not."

~ Stephen Wright

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to  heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!"

~ Brian  O’Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin  Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

~ Dave  Howell

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of  buffalo can  only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when   the  herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest  ones at  the back that are killed first This natural selection  is good  for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole  group keeps improving by the regular  killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can  only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of  alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


"Alcohol may not be the answer to all the questions…" Swami Vivekananda

"But alcohol helps you to forget the entire question…" Vijay Mallya

Author: Ram

geek passionate about music and photos

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