It’s more about throwing brickbats against each other than what’s being tolerated. It’s amazing to see how the public at large can be fooled. How easily the perception can be built, taken advantage of and lead to a massive movement that goes nowhere!
Corruption is a thing of the past. That they were discussing before beef!
Hats off to the politicians, the media and the citizens of this nation!
I can’t really explain this! But you get it.
This is something that I got this morning while I was very excited and anxious about a work situation.
A month ago, I had to visit my cardiologist. It had been a long time almost a year since I visited him. Thanks to Fuhrman like diet style, I could drop off all of the prescriptions. But recent upheavals at the office and the construction related mental state got my hypertension pumped up. So, quickly I realized that he’s shifted his home and the new home was right behind our office. My wife accompanied me and while we were waiting – amidst socks stink – we admired the brick clad which she wanted for our facade. She decided she’ll ask him about it when we meet him.
There we went, he examined and said that I have to get back on my medicines, I agreed half-heartedly. My wife and I did not forget to congratulate him for the very beautiful new home which made him happy. And when we promptedly asked him about the brick cladding, he said ‘Well, I got this constructed home. Do you think I’ll have time to do all this?’. Ha, I realized one point. Even if you do have time, get a constructed home. Or else, you could be frequenting a cardiologist home. 🙂
Everything is back to normal state now. Very soon, in a couple of months, we would be done this all the construction hassles and the near and dear ones would come and ask – ‘Where did you get this done from?’ – let’s see how it goes!
to wordpress finally. Still playing the ketchup game! – This gets me an opportunity to move the blog here and give it an apt title.
The import has butchered some of the stuff that used to work. I think I lost that Darbari link that was on the music site. I have it on my iPod so no sweat. The tinymce editor is playing up – that’s OK too – it’s for those guys who are used to the “Word”.
THE START
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’
The girl said, ‘NO!’
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END
I just got this sent and all of us may have seen this in bits and pieces here and there.
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators..
MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
· The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed…
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
I overheard this one and the link is at the end of this post.
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I’m a software engineer, I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Anonymous
Look for more here…
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams… If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day."
~Frank Sinatra
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence??..I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O’Rourke
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
AND THE BEST ONE GOES LIKE THIS………
"Alcohol may not be the answer to all the questions…" Swami Vivekananda
"But alcohol helps you to forget the entire question…" Vijay Mallya
The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said ‘I have to talk to you. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMW’s instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai (tea).. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!’
The Lord said, ‘Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.’
Satan answered the phone, ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.’ Satan returned to the phone, ‘OK I’m back. What can I do for you?’
Gabriel replied, ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.’
Satan says, ‘Hold on again. I need to check on something.’
After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, ‘I’m back. Now what was the question?’
Gabriel said, ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’
Satan says, ‘Man I don’t believe this … Hold on.’
This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now… These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire…fire is there to keep them uncomfortably hot!! Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell…I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai – pakora shop, which I had to stop…I am requesting Lord to send them back on earth as soon as they arrive as re-birth".
Indians will be Indians…
So this is why Indians are re-born!
Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba thirty thieves. Ten were laid off!
Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate!!
Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs?!!
A director decided to award a prize of Rs.1000 for the best idea for saving the company money during the recession. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to Rs. 100.
Women finally marrying for love! And not money!
The only "deposits" being made on a Ferrari are the ones made by birds flying over them.
Q: With the current market turmoil, what’s the easiest way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.
Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Q What’s the difference between a bond and a bond trader?
A. A bond matures.
Q. Did you hear Goldman Sachs has a new cafeteria?
A. It’s called the Warren buffet.
Q: What’s the Capital of Iceland?
A: About 70 cents.
A concerned customer asked his stock broker if the recent market decline and volatility worried him. The broker told him that he has been sleeping like a baby.
“Really?!?” replied the customer.
“Absolutely,” said the broker, “I sleep for about an hour, wake up, and then cry for about an hour.”
Recession Bumper Sticker
The recession is worse than a divorce. You lose half your fortune and still have your wife.
The Difference between Communism & Capitalism
In communism we nationalize the banks and then push them to bankruptcy. In capitalism we push the bank to bankruptcy and then nationalize them.
Professional Courtesy
A priest, a rabbi, and a mortgage broker were all caught in a shipwreck. Sharks were soon circling around. The sharks eat the priest. The rabbi starts praying fervently, but to no avail, as the sharks eat him as well. The mortgage broker is really getting worried, as a shark is coming for him. But instead the shark puts him on its back, carries him to shore, and lets him off. The mortgage broker asks, “How come you didn’t eat me too?” And the shark replied, “Professional Courtesy!”
Some of the stuff that I got had to be removed for obvious “survival” reasons…
rambling... 